I Made a Salad to Cool Down As a Substitute for More Deodorant

So, yesterday I deviated from my food bible, The Food Lab, from which I intend to cook every recipe and technique – such is the purpose of this blog. I deviated because it was hot outside and I had an intense craving for Thai beef salad (it was yummy, No Ragrets). The heat did not subside today. Tonight, I came home to 7 chickens who were hiding in the shade under their coop, 2 cats who were sprawled out on the coolest concrete on our back porch as if they had melted like mozzarella cheese, a tortoise who as per usual did not give a fuck, and a garden full of not-so-perky looking vegetables of the “oops I tanned for too long” variety. Tonight was a night for another salad.


After flipping through The Food Lab, the recipe for Roasted Beet salad with goat cheese, eggs, pomegranate and almond vinaigrette caught my eye. I've always enjoyed cooking dishes with many elements, as it keeps my idle hands and anxious brain occupied – however, these dishes are usually long-cooked over a hot stove. This was perfectly feasible when I lived in an apartment with AC, but our current house feels approximately like some Man Upstairs is trying to turn us into jerky.


Salad it is. I did have to turn on the oven – to roast the beets, and hard-boil the eggs. Unfortunately, I could not find pomegranate seeds within a 10 mile radius so I settled on diced fresh cherries, which I added a bit of minced mint to. When the roasted beets came out of the oven, I let them rest for 30 minutes and headed out to the backyard with my husband to watch our new Reality TV – our 7 chickens.


I had taken the greens from the beets, chopped them up and sprinkled them in the chicken coop. They went absolutely balls-out nutty over them – flapping all over the place trying to properly position themselves for premium beet-green-eating positions. Even in the heat, they were so ridiculously excited for fresh greens that they pranced out from their shady, cool enclosure to eat them up like savages. If only we mere humans could be so inspired by fresh greens, amiright?


While I “cooked”, our cat Fender climbed to the top of a very large tree in our backyard while chasing crows. Jan sprayed him down with a hose, and I started to assemble what would soon be a pretty amazing salad.


I toasted some almonds then ran them through my food processor, adding them to a tablespoon each of honey and white wine vinegar. 5 tablespoons of olive oil would soon join the mix to create SUCH a yummy dressing that I went all George Costanza on it and double-dipped my finger in it a few times because I am unapologetically disgusting. Diced the roasted beets, drained some sliced white onion under warm water, and turned my attention to the hard-boiled eggs.

Hard-boiled eggs have always grossed me out, but Kenji's technique has me sold. They are perfection. Have you ever eaten a sandwich, or a bite of pasta, or a crisp bagel with cream cheese, or anything really, and said “MMM....” pause, another bite, “MMMMMMMM!!” Yep, that's it. After tossing some ice cubes in boiling water and peeling those little beauties, I assembled my salad.

As the sun began to set, the cats un-melted themselves; the chickens resigned themselves to their cliques in various corners of the coop, and my beautifully sprouting vegetables drank up all the water I just spewed on them. And my husband and I sat down to a delicious salad. We took a lesson from our chickens, and got enthused about vegetables even in the heat of the first day of June. This dish was absolutely beautiful. The crunch of the almond, the kick of the goat cheese, the almost creamy texture of the beets along with the crunch of the lettuce, raw onion and the egginess of the egg (for lack of a better word) – it was total perfection. On a hot summer night, I could not have asked for anything more.


There might have been some cider involved, just saying. But that never hurt anyone on a hot day.